I enjoyed the AAP article in the Fairfax press (disclosure: they sometimes run my travel stories) about the 10 most common complaints flight attendants have about passengers.
Clicking your fingers at them is what they hate most, apparently.
It got me thinking about the gripes I have about those whose very close proximity I’m sometimes forced to endure. It wasn’t hard to find a list of 10 ‘don’ts’ for people sitting next to me on long haul flights.
1. Don’t get drunk and throw up on my only clean pair of trousers. (Ok, it only happened once)
2. Don’t push past me to line up as soon as the Now Boarding sign lights up. Chill, dudes! Experience tells me the plane never leaves till I’m on board.
3. During boarding, don’t stop and block the aisle while you cram your hand luggage into the overhead locker. Put it on your seat and wait politely till everyone has filed past you. And while we’re on the subject…
4. Don’t bring far too much hand luggage, and…
5. …don’t stuff it under your seat so it spills over into my limited legroom.
6. Don’t boast to me in boring detail about how well you know the place we’re going to. (That’s my job, especially if the destination is Australia or Nederland.)
7. Don’t complain to me about the airline food. I’m going to eat it anyway and I can form my own opinion. We’re both sitting in economy, saving up for a nice meal when we arrive.
8. Don’t bring messy heaps of your own food. This usually happens on the no frills, no lunch Easyjet/Ryanair/Jetstar flights. They’re usually short. You can go an hour without a doner kebab with extra runny hommus, can’t you?
9. When we arrive, don’t stand up and drop your hand-luggage on my head as soon as the Fasten Seatbelts sign goes out. What’s the rush? They never let you out till the door opens.
10. Above all, don’t be rude, demanding and unfriendly to the cabin crew!! They are usually trying very hard to make you happy. If you’re not nice to them it makes me feel guilt by association and we all suffer the consequences if they get pissed off with the lot of us. If you don’t like the service, you’re welcome to step outside. Preferably when we’re over the deepest part of the Atlantic.
Anyone like to add a gripe or two to my list?