TOUR DE FRANCE – the dangerous Rotterdam-Brussels stage

Bike, windmill, camera - a fatal combination

G’day again, Lance.

You did well in the prologue time trial yesterday. An impressive 4th place on a drying track. Still 3633km to go, and quite a lot of them (223.5) are coming up today, so you’ll need my advice. I hope you can get email in the hotel, and if they have wifi, bring the laptop to the breakfast table, because I have a few things you need to know about…

Today Le Tour heads out of Rotterdam, down through Zeeland, then into Belgium and stops at Brussels. I’ve been to all those places already, so I won’t be coming with you today, but I think you’ll have fun.

Incidentally, you may have heard by now that Holland and Belgium are no longer part of France. Perhaps they were when the route for this stage was set out – I don’t know how long in advance the tour organisers plan these things. But it all changed after the Battle of Waterloo (1815). Perhaps the contracts were signed and they couldn’t get out of it. Anyway, it’s all set in stone now, and yours not to reason why…

There is a trap for young players in the Dutch countryside. You’ll find there is an almost irresistible temptation to stop at every windmill and take a photo (see sample above). There are lots of them down in Zeeland, where wind is a major import/export, but if you try to capture them all you won’t be in fourth place by the end of the day. Windmill photography is a complete waste of time, and I speak from experience, Lance.

Down in Belgium you’ll be passing through Antwerp. There’s an interesting street of Art Nouveau architecture near Antwerpen-Berchem Station. It’s a bit off the designated stage route, so I don’t suggest you go there yourself. However if you see Contador at the start line, whisper to him that I highly recommended it and he may lose a bit of time going looking for it. I know how Alberto loves his Art Nouveau and it’s quite hard to find without a Tom-Tom (a Dutch GPS device).

The hand thrower, Antwerp


Next little obstacle: In the main city square of Antwerp there’s this fountain/statue of a man throwing a severed hand. The name Antwerp comes from the Dutch for hand throwing – ‘Hand werpen’. The story goes that this chap used to demand a toll from passers-by, and cut off the hand of anyone who didn’t have exact change. It sounds crazy, I know, but Belgian authorities were very strict in those days. Belgium hasn’t had a government or any authorities for quite some time, so there’s probably nothing to worry about, but I suggest you put a few euros in your back pockets all the same. The shopping in Antwerp is supposed to be good.

Next it’s on to Mechelen. Nice town, another pretty square.

Mechelen town square

Mevrouw T and I were there a little while ago. Your bike is probably lighter than ours, Lance, but our city bikes were ideal for the Mechelen cobblestones. Maybe you should consider borrowing a city bike for that section. Mevrouw T is a bit fussy about who uses her bike, but I’d be happy to lend you mine if your mechanic guys could give the chain a bit of oil after the race. Third gear slips a bit too – perhaps they could take a look at that. Leave a comment on this blog if you’d like to take up the offer.

Some people find Brussels a bit boring, but they have good beer and chocolate, and the EU headquarters. The end of the race may not be too interesting either. It’s a dead flat stage, so…desultory breakaway, peleton catches them with 5km to go, mass sprint, Cavendish wins, all the usual stuff.

I don’t know why they make these sprint stages so long. They could have just said, ‘First to the end of Rotterdam’s Erasmus Bridge – go!’ then put you all on the train to Brussels. You can take bikes on Dutch and Belgian trains – 6 euros for a day pass. Maybe you could suggest it to the organisers; they’re more likely to listen to you than to me.

I hope all this helps, Lance. I’m planning to be down at the kerbside in Rotterdam, so give us a wave when you pass. If you can’t take a hand off the handlebars, just a nod and a wink will do. I’ll know who you are.

Cheers, Richard

4 Comments

Filed under Cycling, Holland, Sport

4 responses to “TOUR DE FRANCE – the dangerous Rotterdam-Brussels stage

  1. shawjonathan

    I hope Lance A reads this and takes teh advice, which is cldesrly very sound, and based in experience. Love to Mevrouw T.

    • shawjonathan

      the advice, clearly very sound

      • Jonathan, it’s not all about winning. It’s the places you go, the people you meet, the camaraderie, the parties afterwards with the strippers, the coke and your dirty cheating ex-friends who couldn’t lie straight in a coffin.

  2. Tim

    I love the colour you’re adding to the stages, Richard! It really helps paint the canvas, rather than each stage being a blast from A to B.

    I thought Lance did brilliantly yesterday – maybe those new Landis allegations helped spur him on? – and although the five seconds he gained on Contador is nothing in the greater scheme of things, it will have been a huge psychological boost to him. I think he may surprise us again before this Tour is out, presuming he doesn’t get distracted tilting at windmills!

    I’ve finally managed to post my prologue review (I was literally burning the midnight oil last night), and I’ll post a link here today as well. Hopefully others will find your posts as diverting as I!

    http://thearmchairsportsfan.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/lucky-13-for-cancellara-as-wiggins-gamble-backfires/

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