When Maluck pulled up to Chloe’s place, he had to admit—she looked good. Still goth, still full of hard edges, but damn. He always had a soft spot for goth girls.
He was about to throw her a casual compliment when—
[System Task Issued] Charm her pants off.
System Bonus: +1 LP.
Maluck nearly choked on air.
What the hell, System?!
Still, he wasn’t one to turn down free LPs.
“You look fantastic in the morning,” he said smoothly.
Chloe gave him a look. Not the Oh my god, take me now look. More like the You’re about to break our “no weird sexual stuff” agreement, aren’t you? look.
Maluck saw no ding of a completed task. ‘Damn.’ He scrambled to clarify.
“I mean, uh, you look pretty good for it being early in the morning.”
Chloe’s expression relaxed. ‘Okay, that wasn’t creepy.’ She even smiled a little, and—
[System Bonus Achieved] +1 LP
Maluck grinned. Chloe thought he was smiling at her. In reality, he was just thrilled about the free LP.
“You ready for our day of adventure?” he asked.
“Sure,” Chloe said, stretching. “What do you wanna do first?”
Maluck considered. ‘Alright, what do I actually know?’
?She wasn’t a beer critic. No glow.
?She wasn’t a food critic. No glow.
?Working at the pawn shop? No glow at the register either.
‘They were at her place, so… maybe something here?’
“What kind of stuff do you do at home?” he asked.
Chloe shrugged. “I dunno. The usual. Sleep. Eat. Read dumb shit on my phone.”
“Have you had breakfast yet?”
“Nope.”
“Alright, why don’t you make yourself something?”
Chloe gave him a suspicious look. “Why?”
“No reason. Just… breakfast. Normal human breakfast. Not a weird test or anything,” Maluck said, trying way too hard to sound normal.
Chloe sighed, clearly not buying his totally normal and not an experiment explanation, but she walked to the kitchen anyway.
She poured herself a coffee.
No glow.
She grabbed a yogurt from the fridge.
No glow.
She sat down at the counter, spooned some yogurt into her mouth, and looked at him like he was the weirdo in a horror movie that hadn’t revealed himself yet.
Still. No. Glow.
Maluck was about to give up when—
[System Response] “If only you weren’t so unattractive. Everything you do seems kind of creepy.”
Maluck nearly spit out his own coffee.
Excuse me?!
But before he could even process that insult, another system task popped up.
[System Task Issued]
Get Chloe to want to make out with you.
System Bonus: +0.01 Charisma
Get Chloe to sleep with you.
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
System Bonus: +0.02 Charisma
Get Chloe to sleep with you and bring her friend.
System Bonus: +0.02 Charisma, +0.01 Agility, +0.01 Endurance.
Maluck almost fell over.
“WHAT THE HELL, SYSTEM?! I LITERALLY MADE A NO-WEIRD-SEXUAL-STUFF AGREEMENT!”
The System didn’t respond.
It never did when it knew it was guilty.
He didn’t realize Lust had been given System Control for the day, and she definitely didn’t care about his silly contract with Chloe.
Maluck rubbed his temples. Okay, new plan: ignore the system’s thirst-trap nonsense and focus on the actual goal—figuring out what Chloe’s talent was before the System turned this whole thing into a trashy harem novel.
***
“Alright, it’s definitely not cooking,” Maluck said, watching Chloe eat her yogurt with all the enthusiasm of someone who had just resigned herself to nutritional survival.
She shot him a look. “Gee, thanks.”
“Hey, I’m just ruling things out,” he said, raising his hands. “Alright, next question—do you have anything you’ve written?”
Chloe shifted in her seat, suddenly looking suspicious. “…Why?”
“Because I need to know if you have hidden talent. And what goth girl doesn’t have a collection of moody poetry?”
Chloe huffed. “Wow. Stereotype much?”
Maluck shrugged. “Am I wrong, though?”
She crossed her arms, but after a moment, she sighed. “Fine. Yeah, I’ve written stuff. Do I have to read it to you?”
“Nope. I just need to see that you have it.”
She frowned but walked over to her desk, pulled open a drawer, and retrieved a battered black notebook. It had skull stickers on the cover and probably contained at least three poems about the crushing void of existence.
Maluck watched intently.
No glow.
Well, damn.
“Alright,” he said, “you’re not a secret poetry prodigy.”
Chloe’s face twisted into pure offense. “Excuse me?!”
He immediately backpedaled. “No, no, no, I’m not saying your poetry sucks! I haven’t even read it!”
“Exactly!” she snapped.
“I’m just saying that poetry isn’t your hidden talent,” Maluck explained quickly. “The way my talent works is it detects things that you don’t know you’re good at. So if poetry was your thing, you’d already be aware of it. The hidden talent check is about stuff you might have never tried or never had the opportunity to explore.”
Chloe still looked mildly pissed, but then she nodded. “…Alright. I guess that makes sense.”
She sat back down, flipping through her notebook. “You still don’t get to read my poetry, though.”
Maluck smirked. “Wouldn’t dream of it. But let me guess—at least one of those is about how nobody understands you?”
Chloe threw a crumpled napkin at him. “Shut up.”
Maluck leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers against the table. “Alright, next test. Ever tried singing?”
Chloe gave him a deadpan stare. “You did hear me talk just now, right?”
“Yeah, but having a speaking voice like a disgruntled crow doesn’t mean you can’t sing,” he said, grinning. “You ever really tried?”
Chloe sighed. “Fine, whatever. If this gets us through your weird scavenger hunt faster…”
She cleared her throat, rolled her shoulders like she was preparing for battle, and dramatically belted out:
“IIIIII~”
It was terrible.
Like, horrifically terrible.
Maluck had heard karaoke performances that made his ears want to bleed, but this? This was next-level tone-deafness. It was the sound equivalent of a car crash happening in slow motion while someone played the Jawz theme on a kazoo.
More importantly—no glow.
“Alright!” Maluck clapped his hands. “We can definitely cross singing off the list.”
Chloe scowled. “Gee. Thanks. You wanna critique my shower concerts next?”
“Nope. I’d rather keep my eardrums intact.”
Chloe chucked a spoon at him.
“Alright, next test: push-ups,” Maluck said.
Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Push-ups?”
“Yeah. What if your hidden talent is some kind of freakishly good physical ability? Like, what if you’re secretly the next Olympic gymnast but just never knew it?”
She snorted. “Yeah, because that’s definitely something I wouldn’t have noticed by now.”
“Hey, sometimes people don’t try the right thing until the right moment.”
Chloe rolled her eyes but got down on the floor anyway. She did a push-up. It was fine. She did another. It was slightly less fine. By the third, her arms started shaking like she was trying to bench press a dump truck.
Maluck stared.
No glow.
She flopped onto the floor. “Yeah. I don’t think I was meant for this one.”
“Probably not,” Maluck agreed, making a mental note never to draft her for a zombie apocalypse team.
“Alright, now let’s test something fun,” Maluck said. “How’s your fighting ability?”
Chloe blinked at him. “You do realize I work at a pawn shop, right? I know how to threaten people with a baseball bat and maybe pepper spray a dude, but that’s about it.”
“Yeah, but what if you’re secretly a natural born martial artist? Like, bam, suddenly you’re knocking out dudes left and right, and you never even knew you had it in you?”
She gave him a skeptical look. “And how exactly are we testing this? You want me to punch you?”
“Hey, if it means discovering your hidden talent, I’m willing to take one for the team,” Maluck said nobly.
Chloe grinned. “Alright. Hold still.”
Maluck barely had time to register his mistake before her fist slammed into his arm.
“AHHH—WHAT THE HELL?!” he yelped, staggering back.
“You told me to punch you!” Chloe said, laughing.
“I meant, like, lightly!” He checked his shoulder. “Jesus, I think I felt my soul try to leave my body for a second.”
Chloe cracked her knuckles. “That’s what you get for being an idiot.”
More importantly—no glow.
So, not a hidden talent.
Also, now his arm hurt.
“Okay, fine, let’s try something that doesn’t involve me getting physically assaulted,” Maluck muttered, rubbing his sore shoulder. “How are you with computers?”
Chloe shrugged. “I mean, I use one. I know how to SkewesSearch stuff. And fix minor tech issues.”
Maluck grabbed his laptop from his bag and set it in front of her. “Alright, let’s see if you have some kind of hidden hacker ability. Try… I don’t know, opening up the command prompt and writing some code or something.”
Chloe frowned. “That’s the dumbest test yet. Who just randomly tries to write code?”
Maluck shrugged. “Someone who’s secretly good at it and just never knew.”
Chloe sighed and cracked her fingers dramatically before clicking around. She opened a few programs, typed a few things, and stared at the screen.
Nothing happened.
No glow.
Maluck watched her for a few more minutes before nodding. “Alright. You’re not a tech prodigy either.”
Chloe groaned. “Wow. Shocking. I can’t believe I wasn’t secretly a super genius this whole time.”
Maluck grinned. “Hey, don’t lose hope. We still have a lot of weird tests left.”
Chloe dropped her head onto the table. “I regret everything about this bet.”
***
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