- Requirements: No tight shirts. No ripped jeans. Good wholesome clothes only!
- Success Condition: If someone compliments you on your outfit, gain +7 LP.
- Failure Condition: If someone makes fun of your outfit, lose -10 LP.
Maluck stared at the task and tried to think about what a day entailed. He had to clarify if it was 24 hours because there’s no way he could do that. Especially since the 7 LP wouldn’t get him to the 25 LP that he needed.
Maluck frowned at the screen and asked, ‘What exactly counts as a ‘day’?’
[System Response] Oh heck, that’s a good question! You’re really smart, Bestie! Let’s say… eight hours!
Maluck thought it over. ‘Eight hours? Yeah, I can do that. That still gives me time to rack up more LP later, and I already have a plan in mind.’
Maluck grabbed his keys and called out, “Hey Chloe, I’m heading out.”
He jumped into his car and started driving to the mall, but immediately, he heard some very suspicious noises coming from the engine. His BP had climbed to 102, and it seemed like his car was about to punish him for it.
‘Come on, baby, you can make it,’ he thought, gripping the wheel.
Thankfully, luck—or at least the lack of catastrophic bad luck—was still on his side. By the time he rolled into the mall parking lot, his BP had dropped to 101. ‘Phew. Made it.’ It seemed like his bad luck would have kicked in if a piece of good luck hadn’t stopped it. And the bad luck? Well, it definitely would’ve involved his car—probably with the engine blowing up right after he ran out of gas, while also getting a flat tire and being stuck in a thunderstorm.
He walked into the mall, heading straight for a PAG store, because if he was going to dress like a respectable, non-threatening, non-fashionable citizen, he was going to do it right. He bought a pair of khakis and a polo shirt, the universal uniform of middle-aged dads and guys who get just a little too excited about lawn care.
As soon as he put them on, he muttered, ‘System, accept task.’
[Task Timer Started: 8 Hours]
After putting on his new outfit and paying for his purchase, he immediately dashed out of the store before anyone he actually knew could see him.
Jumping back into his car, he reassured himself, ‘Okay, I should be safe in here. No one should be looking at me.’
But then came the next question: Where was he going to spend the next eight hours safe from ridicule and still get a compliment on his outfit?
A quick SkewSearch later, he found the perfect place: a Christian youth group hosting a “Board Games & Spirituality” event.
‘Perfect. No one is gonna judge khakis and a polo in that crowd.’
He drove over to the rec center and, sure enough, spotted a group of teens hanging out. A few of them were even wearing similar outfits.
‘Thanks, guys. Appreciate the camouflage.’
One of the kids looked up and said, “Nice outfit! Are you here for board games?”
That technically counted as a compliment right?
He was correct!
[Task Requirement Met: Got a Compliment on Your Outfit!]
‘Boom! Part one complete.’
Maluck immediately turned on his heel, and said to the friendly tee, . “Oh! Uh, I just forgot something at my place. Be right back.”
He wasn’t coming back.
This would sadden Brad, who had been looking forward to having a new possible friend to play board games and discuss spirituality with. But Maluck would never know that.
Checking the timer, he had seven hours left. He needed somewhere really safe to hide out where no one would see him.
Simple.
He pulled out his phone and made a call.
“Al’s Storage.”
“Hey, I need to rent a warehouse. Something big enough to park a car in.”
“How long?”
“One day.”
“All right, we’ve got one in the city. Do you need someone to meet you there?”
“Nope, just make sure the door is unlocked.”
“Can I take payment over the phone?”
“Sure, here’s my Visex number.”
A $150 charge later, Maluck was speeding toward the warehouse, grinning.
He rolled up the door, drove inside, and slammed it shut behind him.
‘Ha! Seven hours? No problem. I can sit here in silence and cruise my way to free LP. Take that, System!’
***
Seven hours passed. Everything was going fine—until his phone died.
Now he was sitting in complete darkness, alone, in his car, with nothing to do.
He debated turning on the interior lights, but then paranoia kicked in. ‘What if I forget to turn them off and kill my battery? What if I accidentally turn on the engine and somehow gas myself to death with carbon monoxide?’
It wasn’t likely. Technically, modern cars were designed to prevent that sort of thing. But with 115 BP?
Not. Freaking. Risking. It.
So there he sat, staring into the void, trying not to fall asleep, trying not to let his mind wander to impure thoughts (just to practice), and questioning every life decision that had led him to this moment.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
[System Task Completed: Dress Modestly for a Full Day]
Yay! You did it, Bestie! Eight whole hours of dressing wholesome and respectable! Wasn’t that great!
+7 LP for choosing virtue over vanity!
And hey, no one laughed at you! (Khakis and a polo? Great choice! See you can dress nicely and still be fashionable!)
Before completing the fashion task, he had 17 LP left to earn.
He just gained +7 LP from dressing modestly.
So now, his total LP is 12.
Still not enough for the 25 LP needed to use the Fortune Tuner. He was getting closer, though!
“Hey, System, I need more points. Can you give me a couple of Tasks at once?”
[System Response] No problem, bestie. Here we go!
[System Task Assigned: Mega Purity Challenge for Bestie!]
Task 1: Watch an Entire Documentary About Celibacy
- Objective: Sit through a full-length film about why people choose celibacy and reflect on its wisdom.
- Success Condition: Watch the whole thing and actually pay attention. +8 LP
- Failure Condition:
- Fall asleep? -15 LP
- Laugh at any part of it? -20 LP (Because that’s super disrespectful, Bestie!)
Task 2: Read a Book That Promotes Virtue and Restraint
- Objective: Read at least 50 pages of a book that reinforces self-discipline and moral purity.
- Success Condition: Actually read it. +8 LP
- Failure Condition:
- Skim it and pretend? -10 LP (No cheating, mister!)
Task 3: Avoid Alcohol, Caffeine, and Other ‘Earthly Indulgences’ for a Day
- Objective: No booze, no coffee, no sugar—just pure, untainted living.
- Success Condition: Successfully survive a day. +15 LP
- Failure Condition:
- Crack and give in? -20 LP (Stay strong, Bestie!)
“System, where can I go see this documentary? My phone’s dead.”
[System Response] Don’t worry. I can play it directly into your mind.
“What?”
[System Response] Here we go.
And that was the moment he lost two hours of his life to the most soul-sucking movie he’d ever seen. It was painfully obvious that some preachy church group had thrown money at this, hoping to convert lost souls through sheer boredom. He had to resist laughing.
The worst part? Resisting laughing wasn’t just about keeping a straight face—it was about keeping a straight mind. Every time the giggles crept in, he had to reroute his brain with, ‘Hmm, that’s an interesting choice. I wonder why they did that? And look at this technique. They used a very interesting mise-en-scene here, where they placed the actual religious text as a symbol for the teen’s unwavering faith towards celibacy. The placement of the book on the nightstand, so strategically in frame, speaks volumes about the character’s internal conflict—perhaps a bit too loudly, but nonetheless effective. It’s almost as if the book is a constant reminder of her pledge, watching over her every move, like a silent guardian of virtue. Ah, yes. The director’s use of a long lens in this shot was also quite intentional. Unlike the tight, frenetic cuts often used to express anxiety or urgency, this long lens allows us to take in the scene slowly, almost meditatively. It stretches the moment, making us feel the weight of the character’s decisions, and perhaps even our own discomfort as we watch her struggle. The framing creates distance—not just from the character but also from the viewer’s understanding of her world. The lens elongates the space between them, forcing us to confront her actions with a certain level of detachment, but also drawing us in, forcing us to examine what motivates her.
Hmm. Very, very interesting choices. Why not go for something shorter, something more action-cut, something that would place us in the thick of the emotional conflict with the character? But no, instead, we are kept at a distance, both physically and emotionally. It’s a calculated move, Mr. Director. The lack of action-packed shots gives us room to breathe and process, but it also heightens the tension, creating a sense of expectation.
Now, this whole sequence really comes together when you look back at the scene from 20 minutes ago. The female character, earlier in the film, asked that seemingly innocent question: “What exactly is celibacy?” A question that appeared trivial at the time, but in hindsight, it’s a pivotal moment. The question wasn’t just curiosity; it was a way for the character to explore her own unspoken doubts. And now, in this moment, the director brings us back to that inquiry, using it as a kind of foreshadowing. The girl’s journey with celibacy becomes a metaphor for her own inner turmoil, and the director makes sure we see every single inch of it, from the placement of the book to the weight of the decision she’s facing.
It’s fascinating how the director has woven these details together, almost like a delicate thread binding the character’s past to her present. These small, seemingly insignificant moments now stand as symbols for her larger internal conflict. She doesn’t just want to stay true to her faith, she’s desperately trying to understand it. These choices, these deliberate pacing and framing decisions—they’re all part of a masterstroke in narrative and visual storytelling. The pacing here is the key: deliberate, slow, and patient, forcing us to watch, feel, and reconsider every moment.’
Got it! Let me rewrite this, keeping the two skills separate for clarity:
By doing this, he tapped into his Pop Culture Trivia Skill, and his Memorizing Obscure Facts Skill, to reframe the entire movie. Instead of focusing on the documentary’s actual subject, he treated it as an analysis of an obscure cult film. He shifted the focus to the making of the documentary itself rather than its content, which made it feel less like a soul suckingly boring film and more like a deep dive into B movie directorial choices. It helped him see the film in a new light. On top of that, by using his skills in overanalyzing film direction, he had fun blowing things out of proportion for dramatic effect. Most of his analysis was probably inaccurate, and the director might not have meant half of what he was suggesting. But regardless of its accuracy, it was occupying his mind, and that was enough.
When it finally ended, he had successfully completed the first task. And also had a great time doing so. ‘Maybe I should post my review on Rotted Potatoes?’
***
After the movie was over, he faced a new challenge: obtaining a 50-page book about celibacy. This task was fraught with peril, as it required driving, and he had just accumulated four more BP. So, he resolved to be exceptionally careful.
Navigating the streets with the focused precision of a neurosurgeon, he deftly weaved through traffic, keeping his focus sharp and his reflexes even sharper. His steering wheel grip was steady, and each turn was calculated, making the city traffic feel like an expertly choreographed dance. Every red light and pedestrian seemed to fall into his rhythm as he effortlessly moved from block to block.
Then, just as he was congratulating himself on his flawless drive, disaster struck. A pigeon, seemingly sent from the heavens to ruin his perfect track record, swooped down out of nowhere with all the grace of a missile on a crash course. The bird flapped frantically, aiming straight for his windshield, making a beeline as if it had a death wish. In that split second, he had no choice but to swerve slightly—just enough to avoid a tragic avian collision but not enough to cause a scene.
He sighed in relief as the pigeon veered off, safely out of harm’s way. “Well, that was a close call,” he muttered, shaking his head. “It’s always something with these damn pigeons.” He checked his rearview mirror, making sure the bird wasn’t plotting another attack. With his heart rate still elevated but his driving intact, he continued on, determined to reach his destination without further interference.
The bookstore loomed ahead, a grand edifice that resembled a cathedral more than a place of commerce. He half-expected to be handed a hymnal upon entry.
Inside, he approached a cheerful assistant. “Excuse me, do you have any books on celibacy? Preferably for teenagers. Or even better, pre-teens!” He was eager for big fonts and plenty of pictures.
The assistant’s smile faltered. “For… pre-teens?”
“Yes,” he replied, “something light and engaging. Maybe with cartoons? It has to be at least 50 pages though.”
The assistant blinked. “Let me check.” She scurried away, leaving him amidst shelves of spiritual enlightenment.
As he waited, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity. Here he was, a grown man, seeking a celibacy primer designed for kids. He imagined the illustrations: a cartoon character with a halo, saying, “Just say no… to everything!”
The assistant returned, holding a colourful volume titled “Waiting is Cool!” adorned with a smiling ice cube mascot. “This might be what you’re looking for.”
He took the book, suppressing a laugh. “Perfect. Just what I had in mind.”
Mission accomplished, he left the bookstore, pondering how life had led him to this moment.
***