An Hour Later…
Theo burst through the diner doors, adjusting his slightly rumpled button-up and pushing up his glasses. He looked like a man who had survived things.
“Hey, hey, hey!” he greeted, striding over to the table with an easy confidence. “You must be the Lucky Star crew.”
Maluck looked him over. “And you must be Theo Mercer.”
Theo dropped into the empty seat and grabbed a menu like he’d been there a hundred times before. “Yep! “
Maluck leaned back in his chair, giving Theo an appraising look before launching into the explanation.
“Alright, Theo, welcome to Lucky Star Ventures. It’s… well, let’s just say it’s not your average business.”
Theo raised an eyebrow. “That’s… vague.”
Chloe snorted. “That’s intentional.”
Maluck grinned. “Let’s just say we operate in non-traditional revenue streams.”
Theo blinked. “So… you’re a pyramid scheme?”
Cass smirked. “No. But maybe we could start one.”
Theo chuckled. “Okay, now I’m intrigued.” He leaned forward. “Alright, real question. Are you guys… criminals?”
Cass laughed. “Hah! That’s exactly what I asked!”
Maluck shrugged. “Depends on who you ask.”
Soi sighed. “Technically? No. Everything is legal. But let’s just say… our ethics are situational.”
Theo considered that for a moment, then nodded. “Huh. Alright. That actually makes me feel better.”
Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Wait, why?”
Theo smirked. “Because if I had to sit through one more job interview where someone asked me to ‘leverage synergies in a fast-paced corporate environment,’ I was gonna snap.” He gestured at them. “You guys? You’re meeting me in a diner, you’ve already admitted you work in the grey zone, and none of you are rich lunatics.”
Maluck leaned back, grinning. “That’s the spirit.”
“Good enough for me.” Theo leaned forward. “Alright, hit me. What’s my role?”
Maluck tapped the table. “You? You’d be my personal assistant. And the team’s buffer person.”
Theo sat up straighter. “Nice. What does that entail?”
Maluck exhaled. “Honestly? Everything I don’t want to deal with.”
Theo squinted. “Like…?”
Soi leaned in. “Filing paperwork, organizing meetings, making sure Maluck doesn’t accidentally commit tax fraud, tracking expenses, running interference when people start asking too many questions—”
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Chloe grinned. “Basically, you’re the guy making sure he looks like a professional adult.”
Theo nodded slowly, realization dawning. “Ah. So I’m his babysitter.”
Maluck grinned. “Exactly.”
Cass smirked. “Still want the job?”
Theo beamed. “Oh, even more now. And can I just say? I already love this job.”
Cass raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even know what we do.”
Theo shrugged, completely at ease. “I worked for a guy who tried to legally classify himself as a ‘free-range human.’ I’m pretty sure nothing you do will surprise me.”
Chloe blinked. “Hold up. A what now?”
Theo leaned back in his chair, exhaling like a man who had seen things. “Yeah. He spent six months arguing that because he didn’t believe in ‘man-made borders,’ the law technically couldn’t apply to him.”
Maluck smirked. “How’d that work out?”
“Oh, it didn’t. But not for lack of trying.” Theo shook his head. “He fired three different lawyers for ‘not thinking big enough’ and ended up hiring a former cult leader to draft his final legal argument.”
Cass stared. “You’re lying.”
“I wish.” Theo ran a hand down his face. “That same year, he tried to build a floating mansion in international waters so he could create his own ‘unregulated utopia.’”
Soi sighed, already bracing himself. “And let me guess. It sank.”
Theo snorted. “Immediately. First storm, gone. The whole thing capsized in less than ten minutes. But instead of admitting defeat, he claimed it was government sabotage.”
Chloe was wheezing. “Dude. You really had to work for that guy?”
Theo nodded, taking a sip of water like a man recovering from war. “Hey, his parents were as rich as god. That guy. That lifestyle. Constant paranoia. Everyone was a ‘deep state agent.’ Every minor inconvenience was part of some shadow conspiracy. He wouldn’t even let me order takeout without inspecting the driver for ‘government ties.’”
Maluck leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head. “Alright, since you’re in, let me catch you up on what you’ve signed up for.”
He launched into the full story—the ridiculous gambling win, the biker ambush, the pawn shop extortion, and, of course, how he’d acquired the Hellburst for the low, low price of one dollar.
Theo listened with growing amusement, eyebrows raising higher every time Maluck casually mentioned another questionable event. By the time Maluck finished, Theo was grinning.
“So, let me get this straight,” Theo said, leaning forward. “You went from gambling winnings to street fights to shaking down a pawn shop owner, and now you’re sitting here hiring staff like a responsible businessman?”
Maluck smirked. “Pretty much.”
Theo shook his head, laughing. “You know what? That is awesome, I’m in. What’s my first job?”
Maluck tossed him the car keys. “Insuring the Hellburst.”
Theo caught them midair, staring at them like they’d just been handed to him by fate.
“…You stole a luxury muscle car and want me to make it legit.”
“Legally acquired,” Maluck corrected.
Chloe smirked. “He even did the paperwork.”
Theo exhaled, looking at the keys again. “Easy. I once had to register a peacock as an emotional support animal. This should be much simpler.”
Soi exhaled, shaking his head. “Alright, Theo. You’ve clearly got the stamina for insanity. But are you actually good at being an assistant?”
Theo leaned forward. “I can schedule, organize, and plan better than anyone. I thrive in bullshit.”
Maluck grinned. “Alright. Welcome to Lucky Star.”
Theo beamed. “Hell yeah. So, uh… do I get a company car?”
Maluck smirked. “Sure, why not?”
Theo’s eyes lit up. “And my pay?”
Maluck leaned back. “What’d you get for working for rich lunatics?”
Theo sighed dramatically. “An ulcer. And an NDA so airtight, I’m technically not allowed to describe clouds in casual conversation.”
Chloe blinked. “…Wait. Seriously?”
“Yep.” Theo crossed his arms. “Guy believed that if I discussed cloud formations, I might be ‘leaking corporate secrets’ about his weather control conspiracy.”
Maluck grinned. “Okay, I’ll make it easy—you’ll be paid more than you ever were there, and nobody’s gonna fire you over cumulus clouds.”
Theo grinned right back. “Now we’re talking.”
Soi, ever the practical one, cut in. “We still need a number, Maluck.”
Maluck turned to Theo. “Alright, give me a number.”
Theo leaned back, smirking. “One million dollars.”
Maluck raised an eyebrow. “Yeahhh, we’re working in the grey zone, not the Twilight Zone, sooooo no.”
Theo chuckled. “Okay, what about $500,000?”
Soi countered. “$75,000.”
Theo tilted his head. “That’s fair.”
Soi, shaking his head, muttered, “Had to step in before Maluck agreed to a ridiculous number.”
Theo extended a hand. “Deal.”
Maluck shook it. “Welcome to Lucky Star Ventures.”
