Muzi'er 3

  I decided to write a letter to Xu Yi.

  This desire has been weighing on my heart like a stone for so many days. It's suffocating me, and I have no way to compromise with myself, so I can only write.

  My letter was actually very simple. I said: you have to know that one failure is nothing, and one wrong choice also doesn't matter.

  What's wrong? You have to believe that in this world, there is always someone who cares about you. Hope you are happy.

  This was, of course, an anonymous letter. I mailed it at the post office and then walked home with a light step. As I approached my house, for some reason, I suddenly thought of that ramen shop not far from home. My feet took me there without listening to my commands.

  There is a shortcut from my home to the ramen shop, but it's under construction and not easy to walk on, so there aren't many people passing by. That day when I turned onto that small path surrounded by iron wire fences, I felt like there was some movement ahead of me.

  My hearing isn't very good, but I'm extremely sensitive.

  I knew something was wrong.

  It was almost dark by then, and I walked forward. The fact in front of me soon confirmed that my premonition was correct. I saw that the girl who was pressed against the wall was Ba La. The tall boy with his back to me was continuously kicking her with his knee, his movements fast and ruthless. Ba La bit tightly onto his arm, her eyes especially terrifying. That hatred seemed about to drip out of her eyes like blood.

  I rushed up at the fastest speed and pulled that boy away. "Bala" let out an earth-shattering cry: "Get out of here!"

  The boy is Zhang Yang.

  Zhang Yang backed away, extending one finger and lowering his voice to say: "You try it out, I won't let you off if you don't get rid of it!" Then he walked away without looking back.

  The bar behind him suddenly slid down from the wall with a thud and knelt on the ground, covering his abdomen.

  I crouched beside Bara, trying to lift her up, but I couldn't.

  I pulled out a lighter from her pocket, the flame flickered and shone on her dirty face, her big eyes looked like two dirty glass balls. The wind blew over, the flame trembled and went out. In the darkness, I said to her: "How about I take you home? Tell me where your home is."

  "Do you have money on you?" Her voice and tone were just as calm as usual, as if nothing had happened earlier.

  I took out all the money I had on me, over 70 yuan.

  "That's enough." She stood up with a wobble. "I'm going home, I need to take a bath and buy some more medicine."

  I accompanied her to buy medicine and then accompanied her back home.

  She lived with her grandmother, and there was no one else in the house. Her grandmother was playing mahjong with several old ladies and nobody cared about her return.

  We sneaked into her room. She asked me to sit down first, then she went to take a bath. There were few books on her desk, but many high-end cosmetics. Her bed was covered with beautiful clothes. I picked up a book at random, it was a fashion magazine, the model on it had heavy makeup like Bara.

  She came out quickly after washing up, and she was very different from usual. She wore a white nightgown and walked slowly in front of me. As she approached, she slowly lifted her clothes, and under the cold moonlight, I saw the red swelling and bruise on her belly, which looked hideous and frightening.

  Why is love like this?

  Dear Xuyi, is this what love is? Why are our young loves always so irretrievable.

  Dear Xuyi, I can only softly call out to you in my heart.

  "By the way, what's your name?" Barla asked me.

  "Yi I," I said.

  "What's with your ear?"

  "Almost, just add a king radical."

  "Is there such a word?" she asked me curiously.

  I nodded and took out the medicine to apply it for her.

  As I moved my cotton swab, Barra's body trembled slightly, and then she said in a low voice: "Do you know? Do you know what's inside?"

  My hands started shaking.

  "There's a little baby." Ba La stroked her belly and said, "You say, should I give birth to him or not? Maybe she'll be a pretty little girl."

  I slammed the cotton swab onto the ground. A trembling voice asked: "Who is it, Xu Yi or Zhang Yang?"

  She chuckled: "Don't worry, Xu Yi is just like you, a good baby."

  "But why?"

  She lay down on the bed, adjusted her pajamas and said to me in a heavy tone that she had never used before: "Little ear, do you know? When you love someone, you can do anything for him."