Muzi'er 7

  Those days, I had a strange idea.

  I suddenly want to be bad.

  I'm suffocating and I stubbornly believe that only when things get worse can I gain freedom.

  I wrote another long passage of nonsense on my blog, after finishing it, I hoped someone would read it, so I sent the address of my blog to Ba La's mailbox. Ba La quickly replied to me. She said: Xia Er Duo seems not very happy, or you come to "suan le" listen to me sing a song.

  "No way," I said. "But I'll go to the riverbank this afternoon to read."

  That afternoon, I held a book and sat on the wooden chair by the river, pretending to read. Baba finally arrived, wearing a dress with long flowing tassels, carrying a rose-red bag, walking towards me with exaggerated steps, staring at me with bright eyes and asking: Muzi'er, do you really, really want to become a bad girl?

  I nodded heavily with a silly expression.

  Her hand slapped loudly on my head.

  "I'm going to die," Ba La said, "Daydreaming all day!"

  Ba La suddenly smiled and said: "Little Ears, promise me one thing."

  "Huh?"

  "When my son is born, you'll be his godmother. So you mustn't become a bad person, I want my son to have a good mother, so he won't lose out to others!"

  "What are you talking nonsense about!" I pulled her with all my might and said, "Come with me!"

  "Where are you going?"

  "Go to the hospital!"

  "Let me go!"

  "No!" I said, "You have to go to the hospital, you must go!"

  She pushed me away, sat down on the wooden chair with a smile and said: "Little ears, listen carefully. Even if everyone in the world wants to kill this child, I will still give birth to him. This point will never change, unless I die!

  I was startled by Barla's smile and it took me a long time before I could say: "Barla, what is the point of all this?"

  She put her chin on the wooden chair and said slowly, "You won't understand, just like you'll never become a bad kid. Little ears, everyone's fate is determined from the day they were born, you're a good girl, so you can only be a good girl for your whole life, do you understand?"