Left Ear (55)

  Section 55 of the main text: Left ear (55) "Ah——" Comrade Xu Yi let out a long sigh.

  "This pig is waiting to be slaughtered." I retorted wildly. Then, with a smile, she rolled her eyes and continued reading my book.

  So I finally became Xu Yi's girlfriend.

  This seems to have been a long-planned thing, and on the day of success, I had an inexplicable sense of unease. Moreover, as time grew, this unease began to grow stronger and stronger, and sometimes, if not careful, it would completely overwhelm myself. One day, Xu Yi said to me over the phone: "Li Er, in this world, you may not be the most beautiful girl, but you must be the best girl."

  I switched the phone from my right ear to my left ear. I asked him in a low voice: "Can you say that again?"

  He may have said it, but I didn't hear him.

  My left ear is still the same, losing its hearing at the most critical moments. However, I didn't tell Xu Yi this, just like how I don't really understand him either. I know we're both wounded children, sensitive, fragile and suspicious. My only hope is that our love can develop in the direction I imagine, it doesn't have to be dramatic or turbulent, just peaceful.

  Xu Yi quit his job at the bar on my suggestion, cut off contact with those messy people, and focused on working for a computer company in his spare time, which gave me some sense of accomplishment.

  When we're not busy, we go on dates. Our dates are completely different from those of other college students. Sometimes they take place in a small computer room assigned to him by the computer company, where he buries his head in his computer and I bury my head in my book. Sometimes they take place at McDonald's, where we sit face-to-face eating our own hamburgers and fries. Sometimes they take place on the street, strolling hand-in-hand through some of Shanghai's old alleys. I like being held by him because every time he holds my hand, it's tight and reluctant to let go. This makes me feel at ease. When I mentioned this to Lin, she laughed at me: "Dear child, this shows that you lack a sense of security."

  Maybe it's true. My sense of security actually comes from myself, deep down in my heart there is a string that senses danger, I know I shouldn't touch it, the consequences are unthinkable if I do.

  So I stuck with myself and learned to live in peace with the world.

  However, Xu Yi was not without bringing me trouble. His livelihood relied entirely on himself, so he was always short of money to spend. Perhaps it was a habit he had developed since childhood, when he had money, he never thought about what to do when he didn't have money. For example, when winter arrived, he bought me a red coat worth over 1,000 yuan. It was beautiful, but I felt heartbroken for a long time. He said carelessly, "Don't worry, I'm developing a new software and will make a lot of money soon." As a result, his development failed, and the money didn't come in. On the contrary, because he bought computer equipment, he fell into economic panic again. I kept lending him money, so my own money wasn't enough to use either. I had to keep asking Lin to find new jobs for me. Sometimes Lin got angry and said she wouldn't take care of me anymore, but when she said that, she still tried her best to help me.

  There was another time when I received a strange phone call during class, it was a girl who said that Xu Yi had brought something for me and asked me to go to the school gate to pick it up. Fortunately, it was a big class that day and I happened to be sitting by the door of the classroom, so I slipped out quietly. Before I arrived at the school gate, I kept guessing what surprise Xu Yi would bring me, and to some extent, my fear of such surprises far exceeded my anticipation.

  It turned out to be true, the "surprise" I had been looking forward to that day was like this: a fashionable girl suddenly appeared in front of me and asked if I was Li Wei. I said yes, she rushed up, smiled and slapped me hard on the ear, then jumped into a taxi and drove away.

  I covered my face and slowly squatted down on the ground. About two minutes later, I stood up and returned to the dormitory.

  While having lunch in the cafeteria, I met Lin. She asked me in surprise: "What's wrong with your face? Why is it swollen?"

  "It's nothing." I replied as calmly as possible.

  "No way." Lin insisted, "You must have something going on, your eyes are also swollen."

  "It's really nothing," I said.

  I didn't want to tell anyone about being slapped, including Lin and Xu Yi. But Lin eventually found out, and the witnesses had distorted the story so much that it was very unfavorable to me. Lin secretly called Xu Yi and scolded him severely, but I knew nothing of all this.

  Over the weekend, Xu Yi asked me to go to their school to find him. He met me at the school gate and as soon as he saw me, he hugged me into his arms. My face turned slightly red, and he lovingly stroked my face saying: "How was it, these past few days?"

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