I emailed the liaison I had been communicating with at Quill and Ink immediately after meeting with Silaqui and informed them that I couldn’t meet with them, as other job prospects had come up. They politely responded, wishing me well with my future, and cleanly cut the cord between us; with that, I was again without prospect for employment, and a place to call home seemed further away. I didn’t think it would bother me this much when I was selling all of my possessions; as long as I had school, Silaqui, and my phone, I would be alright. But I missed watching Kurosawa films my grandfather had recommended, tending to plants, feeling safe and comfortable, and having a bed. The last one surprised me most, considering I didn’t have to sleep, but the emotional comfort of a soft pillow and sheets was apparently significantly more valuable than I had originally thought; I was not the hardened machine I had believed.

  Speaking of my grandfather, he hadn’t called in a while; in my emotional turmoil and rapid changes, I hadn’t checked on him in some time... Maybe a call would help me feel grounded, in this ethereal and depressive moment. I pulled out my phone, with only seven phone numbers in it: my mother’s, my grandfather’s, Aera’s, Silaqui’s, Kall’s, Aisha’s, and my own. The empty phone of a broken and lonely person. I called my grandfather, and it went straight to voicemail. Odd, I thought, as I checked the time: 8PM… Should be 10AM where he is. I called once more; again, straight to voicemail. Worry began to stir in my heart, and I looked up a local police box’s number, and called them.

  “Hi, I was wondering, could you check on this address for me? My grandfather lives there, and he isn’t answering his phone.” I spoke Korean with a strange accent, having not used it in a long time.

  “Of course. Can we get the homeowner’s name and address, and a callback number?” The man on the other side was polite and formal; how unlike the folks who operated here.

  “Sure, his name is Jong-soo Park, and he lives–”

  “I’m sorry, did you say Jong-soo Park?” The man’s voice became concerned, and I could feel my heart slow to a stop in my chest.

  “Yes, he is my grandfather. Can you tell me what happened? Why do you know his name?”

  “Umm… Let me put the Inspector on the phone.”

  As I waited for a moment that stretched out for eons, I thought of all the memories I had with him: watching old movies on his luxurious couch, one of his most prized possessions. Celebrating holidays with just the two of us, but somehow filling the room with his presence. How had I taken these moments for granted? How had I forgotten the peace he had given me? How could I have fucked up something so simple?

  “Hello, this is Inspector Yoon. Who am I speaking to?” Their voice was clinical and authoritative. I hated it.

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  “Hello sir, my name is Avery Grey, I’m Joon-soo Park’s… Grandchild. Can you tell me what happened?” I was outside of myself, seething with rage, desperately sorrowful, but my body continued, like a machine programmed to simply complete the task it had set out to do.

  “Avery, well… I’m sorry to say this, but Joon-su Park is dead. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.” His voice was tone-deaf and insincere. I hated it.

  “How did he die?”

  “I’m afraid that is classified police business, but we can call you with details on how to make arrangements and collect his things later. We assumed he had no living relatives, but if you are legitimate, then you are of course the rightful next of kin. What is your phone number, so I can pass it off to the appropriate offices?” He spoke as if this was a transaction, and that I was benefitting somehow. I fucking hated it.

  “Well, here is my phone number, sir. And thank you for your time. I’ll be over to see you real soon.” I hung up the phone immediately, and dialed Silaqui. After two rings, she picked up, the sound of a hair dryer in the background.

  “HELLO AVERY! GIMME A SECOND!” she yelled, before the sound stopped, and she returned. “Hey, what’s going on?”

  “I have to go to South Korea for a bit,” I responded, a cold hostility in my voice.

  “Wait, what? But you’re still figuring shit out, Avery!? I can’t leave the city to go with you! What the hell are you doing?” She sounded exasperated, but I could hear the genuine concern in her tone, and it calmed me down slightly.

  “My grandfather died.”

  “... Oh.” She said. Oh. This was the first time she had ever been speechless to me.

  “Something feels wrong about his death. I think the cops are hiding shit from me. The Inspector on the phone pissed me the fuck off, and I’m going to find him and read his Vanta to figure out what really happened to my grandfather.” I was back in my body, the pure rage threatening to turn the water molecules in my lungs to steam with each exhale.

  “Avery, are you sure that's a good idea? I know you are dealing with grief, but you are only beginning to understand your power; you may not be able to control yourself over there, and I won't be able to help you.” Her words were sweet, but their meaning was constricting, and not what I wanted to hear. I understood her, and I wanted to be her faithful Champion, but I let one of the purest beings in my life just slip away without even finishing the list of movies he gave me to watch. I would not back down on this.

  “I’m going, Silaqui. I’m using the last of my money to buy a ticket there, and I will not be coming back until I have proven I can change things the way I want to. I will come back to you, Silaqui. I won’t be like the other Champion. I promise.”

  There was a length of silence, and I was sure she would denounce me, or berate me. But she spoke with a gentle and soft tone.

  “I know there is nothing I can do to change your mind. He obviously meant a lot to you, and I know how it feels to lose someone like that. Just remember this when you go there: you are not the person that left that country, and you are capable of so much more. Take no half measures. Do whatever you can to find out what you need, and know that you can call me for guidance or support anytime. But this may well be your first test as my Champion, and so I will say this: show the world who you are, Avery Grey.”