２９

  I and Xile carried the coffin down the mountain, actually this day has been expected for a long time, such as ten years. Because I always don't want to be trapped in a very small place doing big things, rather than doing small things in a very large place. The idea is that freedom is always bigger because of the larger space, and smaller because of the smaller space. And the arrival of this day seems to be more abrupt, seemingly sudden, seemingly people will always be calm and reflective when expecting something or someone for a long time. Why am I so calm? Because you choose new things, you must lose old ones, and the old ones seem good too.

  Although things are not as grand as the repeated scenes in my mind for many years, everything seems to be fleeing in a hurry. However, besides the escape, there is an unexpected gain - the delightful joy of carrying a disproportionately large Ling on my back.

  Why is the girl in everything so charming, I think it's because of the saying "beauty lies in the eyes of the lover", this reason is good, but I really can't judge, the reason is too embarrassing to mention, because I have no comparison, and it's possible that she's the first girl I've carefully looked at.

  After being together for many years, there are many things that need to be slowly recalled. To sum it up, everything is very difficult. Firstly, being with a girl for so long and she has a pretty face, it's hard not to like her. Moreover, what's even more difficult is that among the over 1,000 men around me, I didn't have any ambiguous relationship with them, which is truly not easy. And also, not having complicated emotions with fellow outstanding monk Shixiong that would make this story unclear is even more precious.

  How do I know, I think, what others have done and what I feel is what others think in their hearts.