--

  I sat there on the ground talking to the trash as if she could hear me. And then I ask will I ever change, I won the game the vaccine is gone and so on but I didn't want to budge. I envied cowardice, because it was the one change that I could go through, I didn't need to change and I didn't know how. As the audience slowly looked up at the stage, a boy was sitting there where he shouldn't have been. I shouldn't be this sad, this was only a step in my story, a step of poetry and yet guy who wrote me here in this life was standing watching me right back telling me how I have no face. Yet I could look him dead in the eyes, tell him I matter only for him to tell me I will never change. Biology never changes, he told me, "he wanted someone who doesn't have a motive, not a believable one, hence I could not change just be a coward because being a coward isn't change but the inaction to commit to change and therefore my future but not a change in me".

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  As I saw the people walk past me, looking at a man too drunk he almost looks passed away, all I saw wasn't the future but the fact people were inclosed in boxes. A part of me knew he wanted me to see that, but he wasn't death, he knew it as well as I ever did and he couldn't kill me. I didn't ask anything to a man that could only offer me a straight path forward, I had the choice to follow that path or say no.

  "If I can't change I choose not to change but to be a coward, not reach the end even if that is the path you chosen for me", I said, but no words came out.

  "As I now look at the bathroom in pitch black staring at the open door and its dark abyss, all I can think of is the dark abyss and what it could be holding in it, but not moving out of my own cowardice", ...

  "If the only change I can offer my own sollace is my revenge I choose not to hate Malfonz ... but that's a lie", I said.

  "I therefore choose to be a coward so I can stop facing that lie", I didn't change, but I chose to lie and to not face it because of cowardice. Fin.