Embarrassing

  Recently, there have been a lot of comments about me on campus. It's because everyone has discovered that a freshman named Kang Jian is always holding his phone, wandering aimlessly around the campus with a hesitant expression. Or he hides in the dark corner of the dormitory, looking worried and staring blankly at his phone, occasionally breaking into a silly smile.

  One day, when I was holding my phone in the dormitory and making a terrifying silly laugh, the second elder who had been silent for a long time finally burst out, very seriously worried about my recent mental state. And he used a phrase that Han Bamu had once said, "Only sex and war can make real men's souls overturned." to analyze my recent mental state.

  "Second brother... you... usually, when you want to ask a girl out, what methods do you use?" I didn't pay attention to Second Brother's analysis of me, but instead humbly asked him for guidance.

  "Ah!? No way! You're also a legendary figure, how can you ask me for advice on emotional issues without feeling ashamed?!" said the second brother.

  "Haven't you heard of the medical saying 'A doctor cures others, not himself'?"

  "It's indeed related to sex... Alright, I'll reluctantly diagnose it for you!" Lao Er said with a sly smile. In order to show my humble attitude, I temporarily put aside my right to argue with him and focused on Lao Er, "I need to know how you and she met? After understanding the details, I can analyze the specific situation!" Lao Er wiped his hair, looking serious, and said to me. So I gave a detailed introduction to Lao Er about how Tong Chen and I met, including my inner thoughts after seeing her, as well as my analysis of our future development possibilities.

  "It's easy! You can start with your friends, play a little trick... You borrow the excuse of asking your friend out and bring her along, isn't that settled!" Lao Er said to me very easily.

  "Why so troublesome? Can't I just ask her out directly?"

  "Kang Jian, Kang Jian! Your IQ is extremely high...high to the point of astonishing me......but you also have an EQ that doesn't match your IQ, which also astonishes me......" Lao Er sighed and put his arm around my shoulder, with a look of regretful iron not becoming steel, slowly saying, "Think about it, you two just met recently, occasionally exchanging text messages. You're so reckless to ask her out like this, what if she refuses? It would be very unfavorable for your future work...these things require perseverance and patience, promoting the spirit of Yu Gong moving mountains, advancing step by step......after clearing away all obstacles and firepower around you, concentrate all your strength and take her down with one swift effort! Your current task is to create various opportunities to get close to her, but not too obviously. Try to create a scene where you unintentionally show off your strengths to her!"

  "...unintentionally..." I repeated, somewhat perplexed, and cast a hopeful glance at Lao Er, but he deliberately avoided my gaze, citing "urgent urination" as an excuse, and hastily walked out the door. As for Lao Er's sudden and frantic departure, I began to suspect the credibility of his words.

  But considering Lao Er's unique insight and astonishing talent in this regard, I took an attitude of trying it out and gave Zhao Lijia a call.

  "Hey! It's still early morning, can't you let people sleep a bit!!" Zhao Lijia yelled into the phone as soon as she picked it up.

  "Good morning! Look up and see what time it is? It seems to be 11:50 Beijing time here, and our locations seem to have no concept of time difference!"

  "Ahhhhhhh!!! I slept for so long again! I'm doomed, doomed!!! I'll get fat again!!" Zhao Lijia suddenly let out a loud and ear-piercing scream before starting to complain on the phone.

  "It's done! Anyway, it's all happened, just accept the lesson!"

  "Get out! What do you want from me?"

  "Want to go clubbing tonight?"

  "What? I didn't mishear, did I?! Last time you were so solemnly educating me to stay away from those kinds of places! How come you're willing to take the initiative to find me now?! And at a place like that!" Zhao Lijia said in a strange and awkward tone.

  "That day when Tong Chen and I were helping you back home, I subconsciously discovered that you've gained weight! Especially around the lower abdomen, where there's a noticeable sag. Considering your professional image and future emotional life, I had to take you to exercise!"

  "Shut up!! I know whether I'm fat or not!!" Zhao Lijia shouted at me in a fluster.

  "So are you going or not!?"

  "Go! Why aren't you going?! Someone's treating and I'm still not going!"

  "Right... let's call Tong Chen too! Otherwise, when you're out, she'll be bored at home by herself!" I said it in a very calm and natural tone, pretending to mention it casually, while excitedly waiting for Zhao Lijia's agreement.

  "Tonight she has another dinner party... can't go!" Zhao Lijia also said to me in the same calm and natural tone, but after hearing this sentence, my heart couldn't continue to be so calm, I stood there with my mouth agape like a fool, without any reaction to Zhao Lijia's remaining words, until she hung up the phone...

  Although this plan did not achieve its initial purpose due to some uncertain factors, it strengthened my confidence in implementing such plans in the future and accumulated valuable experience, so that I will not make the same mistakes when implementing such plans next time.

  In the following days, although I spent a lot of time, money and energy, every time I saw Tong Chen's charming smile, except for quietly admiring her smile and indulging in the intoxicating feeling it brought, nothing else would come to mind. During this period, I also successfully implemented Lao Er's approach, often finding various seemingly reasonable excuses to create opportunities for me and Tong Chen to be alone together. As for Lao Er's suggestion of "unintentionally revealing one's strengths", I didn't implement it in a straightforward manner. Firstly, I found it difficult to grasp how to achieve "unintentional" revelation, and secondly, I thought it was unnecessary. If we really had the opportunity to be together in the future, my shortcomings would eventually be exposed anyway. I didn't want to hear words like "why didn't you do that before" during our future arguments.

  After I don't know how many times bringing Zhao Lijia, this big light bulb, out to play, I felt that the time was ripe and it should be the time to ask Tong Chen out on a solo date. So I called Zhao Lijia again, considering that this might be the last time we three came out together to a place of revelry, and I agreed to her numerous unreasonable demands with a good attitude. Before long, the three of us appeared at a disco bar on Xuefu Fourth Street. As soon as we stepped into the door of the disco bar, Zhao Lijia couldn't wait to start dancing along with the shocking music, and then took off her coat and handed it to me before running towards the dance floor, swinging her long hair and joining the crowd of people jumping wildly on the dance floor. In no time at all, she became the focus of everyone's attention, especially some men who came here with unmentionable purposes.

  While I and Tong Chen took Zhao Lijia's clothes to find an empty table to sit down, ordered three bottles of beer after starting to appreciate Zhao Lijia's dynamic and crazy dance moves. Tong Chen, although also often comes with friends to this kind of place, but she seems not as infatuated with showing herself on the dance floor like Zhao Lijia, and I was sitting in my seat accompanying her because of Tong Chen.

  My mind has been thinking about how to ask Tong Chen out on a date in a natural state, so today's conversation with Tong Chen wasn't much. Although I pretended to be calm and watched the people dancing in the ballroom with Tong Chen, my heart was actually tense at all times, considering the timing of making this request.

  "I'm going to the restroom..." Tong Chen said with a smile, then got up and walked towards the toilet. I, who had been quietly and tensely calculating the timing, suddenly realized that an opportunity had arrived. In my mind, I began to outline a scene where I would pretend to be anxious to use the restroom and casually ask her to watch a movie together when Tong Chen came out. So, I picked up the beer on the table and drank it all in one gulp, took a deep breath, and then got up and walked towards the toilet as well.

  While waiting for Tong Chen to come out of the bathroom, I repeatedly thought about how to ask Tong Chen out on a date in a calm and natural tone, and repeatedly changed my expression and tone, muttering to myself "Tong Chen, let's go see a movie together tomorrow!?" This sentence that I had silently recited countless times in my heart, was in preparation for achieving the perfect effect when I would express it later.

  "Alright! But I don't have time tomorrow! How about the weekend? I'm off on weekends, you can give me a call then!" Just as I was concentrating on finding some inspiration with my back to the toilet, Tong Chen's voice suddenly came from behind me, like a gust of cold wind, causing me to break out in a cold sweat and giving me an urge to make a run for it. As for when she had come out of the toilet and stood behind me, I was too distracted to care about those details.

  Although I felt very embarrassed, things didn't go as planned and my foolish side was naturally revealed to Tong Chen, but thinking of the unintentional expression produced a satisfactory effect, feeling extremely embarrassed and then starting to feel excited, so I took advantage of the few seconds to quickly adjust my expression and mood, and I calmly turned around to look at Tong Chen.

  "Do you want to go to the bathroom too?" Tong Chen asked me with a smile.

  "Ah!" I nodded desperately and quickly opened the bathroom door, rushing in. After leaning against the bathroom door and taking a long sigh of relief, I began to scold myself in front of the mirror in an extremely excited state, "Trash".