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  [colpse]Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four - Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend

  “Oh boy,” I whispered.

  There were a lot of things that could g.

  Holy, most of those things had really ive sequences for the mafia people, more than anyone else, but I didn’t want to see my new frieing people, not even criminals.

  And then I had to sider whether or not my friends and I would be caught in the crossfire.

  I would have to do my best to keep everything nid civil!

  The problem was, I had no idea what to do. This ehing would end in disaster. My friends, as awesome as they were, weren’t equipped to deal with this. Awen was a bit shy, and Amaryllis was a bit... a lot rude. She’d make things worse.

  I closed my eyes for a moment and asked myself a vital question. What would Abraham do?

  I coughed to clear my throat. “Hello Cholondee. You’re just in time, there’s some tea left.”

  The dragourned her head my way, something that had fedora-wearing goons toppling over themselves to get out of the way. Her long spiney back-sail perked up the same way that my ears did, but cooler. “You have tea?” she asked.

  The dragohe still steamile otle table, the kettle that was smaller than... literally any one of her body parts. “I’m certain Don Grenouille wouldn’t mig a rger kettle. Or maybe a pot.”

  “Ah,” the old grenoil said.

  “See,” I said. Then, even though it was a little rude, I poio some of the goons who flinched back as if my finger were a primed pistol. “You and you. Go put some water to boil. And please do so quickly, leaving a guest waiting is wrong.”

  “Ah, you’re under guest rights,” Cholondee asked as she wiggled a cw to get some of the fountain that got caught there out.

  “Actually, Don Grenouille didn’t want to extend those,” I said. “He did provide tea!”

  “I--I extend zem!” the Don said, the first time he spoke since Cholondee arrived.

  “No, I think we’re fine as we are,” Amaryllis said.

  I wasirely sure what guest rights were, or how they were important, but I had the impression that Don Grenouille had maybe made a bit of a misstep there, and that Amaryllis was really enjoying the fact.

  “Huh. Well, whatever. So what’s going on? Did we find the jerks who were messing with my brirlfriend?”

  I heured to the very pale Don. “Yeah. These are the ohat messed with Booksie’s shop. They don’t seem all that bad. Though, uh,” I looked to Big Green. “They did ambush and try to kidnap us earlier. I’m not saying they’re evil or anything, but kidnapping is usually a bad thing. Um... depending on the circumstances.”

  Awen ecial case, of course. Kidnapping in the name of friendship was alright.

  Cholondee eyed the gangster who raised his e as if that would do anything. “It is around breakfast time,” she said.

  “We had breakfast,” I pointed out.

  “Sed breakfast. I’m hungry. And also a dragon.”

  I bit my lower lip. “Wait!”

  Cholondee looked my way. So did a bunch of the goons. “We, uh, still have questions for them.”

  “Right, right, ’t do that if they’re eaten,” the dragon agreed. “Well, get asking.”

  I nodded really fast, turowards the Don who didn’t look so fident and scary in his wheelchair anymore, and then bnked on what sort of question I could ask.

  “Awa,” Awen came to the rescue. “Don Grenouille, do you know a Mister Rai?”

  The Don nodded quickly, sunhat bobbing with the motions. “Of course, of course, he’s a distinguished Sylph who came into our employ a week ago. Very sharp.”

  I shot Awen a thankful smile. “What kind of work did he do for you? And, um, did he usually ask people like Big Greeo attack girls off the street? Because I really hope that’s not a on occurrence.”

  “No, nothing like zat,” the Don said. “Rai... ah, zis isn’t information zat should be aired so openly.”

  “So, Cholondee, do you breathe fire, or is your breath something else?” Amaryllis asked.

  “Oh, I’m like my mom,” Cholondee said, the pride evident in her voice. “My spit is super corrosive. It’ll melt through metal like fire on snow. But with some magic I turn it into a sort of misty poison. I’ve killed entire flocks of sheep with it!”

  “Of course, information should be shared,” the Don said. “Ah, we were hired by Rai. He needed ze help of some of our better, more experienced members to assist him wiz a few heists. Zey were all simple zings, but carried out very well. He even shared ze profits wiz us. And zen zere was a rger atta one of ze smaller mansions just a few days ago. We helped him rob and kidnap a diplomat.”

  “A diplomat?” Amaryllis asked. “From where?”

  “A cervid diplomat. He was here to meet wiz a mixed group from, ah, Deepmarsh and Mattergrove. About the cervid crossing the Deepmarsh border.”

  Amaryllis stood a little taller, her brows joining together. “Tell me everything you about the crime.”

  “Ah, I don't know all ze details. Rai asked for ze assistance from a few of our members. All ze harpy and human members we had. Zere was some climbing involved.”

  “Oh, world,” Amaryllis muttered. “What about the other heists? Who was targeted?”

  The Don looked somewhere between fused and irritated now. You could only spend so much time worried about the dragon in the courtyard, after all. “I don’t know all ze details. Mostly nobles. Mostly from out of ze city.”

  “So not just grenoil hen?”

  “No, some harpy, some humans. Anyone wiz lots of .”

  I wasirely sure what was going on, but a g Cholondee showed her paying rapt attention. “This is intriguing, just like in one of my books,” she whispered to me.

  “I guess so,” I said to her. “Um. Do you know where Rai is?” I asked.

  Amaryllis snorted. “Probably leagues away. This is quickly turning from an adverying to prevent dragons from eating everyoo something a whole lot worse.” She stood up and off of her chair. “We o go. I have some letters to send. And we should talk to the director of the local Exploration Guild. We o get news out.”

  “We haven’t even figured out how Rai ged species yet,” I said.

  “That doesn’t matter. A magic item, some illusion magic, two agents with the same code-name.” Amaryllis waved a wing dismissively. “What matters is fixing the mess they’ve caused before this turns into a full-on war.”

  I blinked. “A war?” I asked.

  “A war?” Cholondee repeated, far more excited by the idea.

  “Obviously. Trying to kidnap me while making it look like the United Republic of the Tres is to bme, then kidnapping a cervid diplomat trying to clear up the issue, and making it look like either the harpy or humans did it. No doubt he’s been busy causing all sorts of other problems that haven’t surfaced yet because no one is paying any attention. Tensions have been running high between the Sylphs and Harpy for turies, but other than some skirmishes it’s never broken out into a full-on war.”

  “So, what, he’s trying to get Deepmarsh and the Trenten cervid to go to war so that the harpy ’t call oo help?” I asked. It made sense. If you were going to bully someone--which would be a terrible awful thing to do--then taking their friends out of the equation first just made sense.

  Amaryllis waved her wings about in a gesture that could mean anything. “Maybe. I don’t know. It could be for something else. That’s why we o head out ahe right people. The more people in charge who are aware that a spiracy is afoot, the better.”

  “Oh, now there are spiracies,” Cholondee said. “This is exg.” She reached out and grabbed a nearby grenoil with the tip of her cws. The man started squirming and screaming.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Mid-eai snack,” Cholondee said.

  “No, no!” I waved my arms around. “If you eat them all you’ll, uh.”

  “Not be hungry?”

  I bnked food long moment. Then aruck me like one of Amaryllis’ lightning bolts. “If you start eating the goons, they’ll never respect you as their leader.”

  Cholondee paused. The goons paused. Even the one in her cws stopped screaming.

  “Th-think about it! There’s a bunch of things going on, the Morepoles are going to be in a whole heap of trouble, and they totally owe you for messing with your brother’s maybe-girlfriend’s shop. So you take them over. The Don teach you how to run the mafia, and you turn it into a much better, nicer anization. No more rackets and stealing and such.”

  “That sounds like a lot of work,” Cholondee said.

  “I mean, it kind of is, but look at the slums. You could make them way better, and then they’d all really appreciate you. And, um, that’s worth more than a lot of gold, isn’t it?”

  I could see that I was almost onto her, but not quite.

  “And think of the hats! No, wait, that’s a bit silly. I mean, you would look really good in a cool hat, but that’s not a reason to take over the mafia.” I waved my hand around as if beating away a bad smell. “Think of the opportunity to, to... improve others. And and all of these people that just need a bright, strong leader like you. When people ask them ‘what are you’ it won’t just be ‘I’m a grenoil’ it’ll be ‘I’m a grenoil that works for the best dragon.’”

  Cholondee was nodding really slowly. “I like it,” she said. “I could bee the queen of the... what’s this pce called?” she asked the Don.

  “Ze Scumways?”

  “Oh, yuo, we’d o re to somethier.”

  I sighed. She wasn’t going to eat ahat was great. Now she was just going to be the dragon queen of the underworld. Which...

  Amaryllis was staring at me with a very ft expression. “Have I told you that you’re an idiot today?”

  “I think so?”

  “Ah, then perhaps moron? Fool? Halfwit? I’m also partial to dunce.”

  I tried a smile. “At least no one died?”

  “So, how does this mafia thing work?” Cholondee asked. “When do we kidnap princesses and take the nobles’ gold?”

  I tried not to crumble. “It’s more plicated than that,” I said. “You know what. You should work with Booksie. She’s nice. Real nice. And she teach you all there is to know about, uh, this stuff. I’m sure people would respect you a lot more if they thought of you as a protector and friend than as a greedy dragon.”

  “I be a protector. And also a dragon,” Cholondee said. “Yes. This seems fun. I also get to py dress-up with all of these little people, right? I think their uniforms are drab and b.”

  “Sure,” I said. “Just... please take your time. You’re a dragon, you should do your best to be the best, and the best would anyone. In fact, I’m sure that none of the other Doheir goons, right?” I asked the st while looking to Don Grenouille. Or maybe it was now former Don Grenouille.

  “Zat’s right.”

  “Aww,” Cholondee said. “Wait, does that mean I’m now Don Cholondee?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  The dragon grinned, some of the goons fainted. “I should tell my brother!” She raised her wings high above, then took off with a burst of wind that threw our tea table aside.

  The goons I’d sent to fetch a pot of boiling water walked back just in time to see the dragon leaving.

  There was a nice, long moment of quiet after that.

  “Right, well,” I said. “I think our business here is done.” I smoothed down the front of my skirts, then bowed to Don Grenouille. “Thanks for having us, and thanks for the tea. We’ll be going now.”

  I grabbed my friends and moved the heck out of the courtyard. Surprisingly, no oried to stop us.

  ***