Chapter 6 (4)

  I'd rather not answer that question directly, so I'll just scribble something down: "Lately the rain has been endless and our luck has been terrible"; "The improvement in Sino-US relations is great news". After writing a few hundred words, I finally got to what I really wanted to say: By the way, how's Susa doing lately? I've been worried about her.

  I've finished writing this sentence and wanted to end it, but I feel that it's still too obvious, so I'll just add some more nonsense afterwards, like a turtle laying eggs.

  Since we have already dug nine inches underground and put the egg inside, after achieving our goal, of course, we cannot leave like this. We must cover some soil on top to make the egg not easily detectable.

  Yu Xiang sent out the egg with full expectation.

  As expected, the bean sprouts beans, three days later, Yu Xiang and Luo Tiancheng received letters from each other. Yu Xiang was eager to see Luo Tiancheng's reaction, but when he opened his own letter, a sentence was highlighted in red: "I am currently the president of the city's best literary society, Brother Luo can pass on this news to Susa." Next to it was written: Since you and Susa are "in constant communication", why do I need to pass it on? Yu Xiang suddenly realized his mistake, his face turned bright red, thinking that even the wisest person can make a mistake. On the side of the note was another note commenting on this note: Everything I said is true, whether you believe it or not.

  Yu Xiang's heart tightened slightly as he opened Shen Xi'er's letter. Shen Xi'er had learned from Yu Xiang's style, writing a long and rambling message. It took Yu Xiang half a day to finally find the news about Susa: "Do you miss her very much? I think it seems there is no need for that anymore."

  I've heard many people say that as soon as she entered the school, she was elected as the campus belle, with numerous suitors. There were rumors that she had a good relationship with a top science student, and she even wrote to confirm it, asking me to tell you not to think too much about it. Municipal South Third Middle School is a good school, don't miss this opportunity, study hard, and we'll meet at Tsinghua University in three years. You should be more open-minded... Yu Xiang couldn't read on anymore, feeling like he had been emptied out from head to toe, with no sensation whatsoever. He had already been devastated three days ago; today, not only was he devastated again, but also (oh god) devastated once more, his wounds bleeding profusely.

  Yu Xiang tore the letter to shreds again, and cursed in anger: "What a crappy school, what a crappy municipal key school, go to hell! Go to..." He was so choked with emotion that he couldn't speak, only feeling the bitterness in his heart. He knelt down in the empty classroom, biting his lip and sobbing.

  Things had already come to this point, and asking anything would be pointless. Amidst all the sorrow, he decided to write a letter to put an end to it:

  Susa: I really regret coming to Municipal No. 3 Middle School. It's too oppressive here, and I don't even have anyone to talk to. But I always thought that as long as I had you, that would be enough. Until now, I didn't know if I was worthy of you, nor did I know what you were pursuing.

  I didn't write to you because I wanted to keep this memory, this feeling. I had thoughts that only I could understand, and I thought you would hear them. Now it seems like I'm redundant, so I'll just write one last letter to make things clear. I'm no longer regretful because I've experienced it. I wish you happiness, or rather, I wish you both happiness. May we part on good terms.

  As I finish writing this, my hand trembles and I can barely hold the pen. My vision blurs, and I sit in a daze. Then, I pick up the pen again and cross out the last sentence. I wipe away tears and re-read it - after all, having typos in such a solemn and melancholic letter is quite embarrassing.

  As I look back, I realize that the sorrow of heartbreak isn't usually because of the other person's departure, but rather our own self-pity and sympathy for ourselves. All I feel is how pitiful I am.

  After sending out the letter, Yuxiang felt that the world was a vast and obscure place, his heart numb and stopped beating.

  That Friday, more than half of the people in the campus had left. The sky seemed to have not noticed his sadness and did not shed a tear for their true farewell, thus lacking a poetic touch. Looking back, it was also missing a beautiful phrase "farewell is always in the rain". A sunny day farewell was also a great pity. In the evening, the cool wind started to blow, as if the sky was warming up before the rain, but it should be cooling down instead. The wind rose and the clouds gathered, yet nothing substantial came down.

  Yu Xiang sat in the classroom, staring blankly at the autumn scenery outside, feeling no hunger. Suddenly, a thought struck him: "In this world, others will never truly love you; only loving yourself is real." He thought it made sense and couldn't bear to mistreat himself, even if others did. Yu Xiang propped himself up against the desk and stood up, looking like he had aged ten years overnight. The tear stains on his forehead were clearly visible, and the dry wind made his face feel uncomfortable. After wiping away his tears, Yu Xiang trudged to the Rain Fruit Hall, his footsteps slow, hoping that all the students in school would see his sorrow.

  There were only a few people in the cafeteria, and the server felt that he had done his job well and was about to finish work. Then he saw Yu Xiang walking slowly towards him like a ghost, which made his teeth itch with annoyance. He urged: "Hey, are you going to eat? Hurry up! You're half dead!"

  There aren't many good dishes left in Yuhao Hall. Humans have become more and more like ancient carnivores as they develop. Yu Xiang is naturally timid, not as ferocious as the many carnivores in Shi Nan San Zhong Li, so for a long time he hasn't eaten much meat, his functions have degenerated, he's lost interest in meat, and has become a good kid who loves to eat vegetables. The good kid casually ordered some dishes and went to eat with a dull expression.

  People who have lost love especially like to drill into remote corners. Yu Xiang hid in a corner to eat, but couldn't help seeing Qian Rong and Yao Shuqin dining together, his eyes turned red as he wanted to choke himself to death with a mouthful of rice. But today's situation seemed unusual, usually when they ate, they would gaze at each other, as if the other was the dish, then take a bite; but today they were both silent and eating quietly. Who cares, maybe the couple is having a disagreement.

  Yu Xiang's heartache surged up again.

  Friday was a difficult day for boarding high school students, with endless blank hours in the evening, except for reading books and washing clothes under dim light. Lin Yuxiang had no interest in these things and was so tired that he just wanted to sleep.

  Yu Xiong came to find him and asked: "Are you uncomfortable?"

  Yu Xiang's disappointment was finally understood by someone, and he felt a little comforted. He said, "It's nothing."

  Yu Xiong saw through Lin Yuxiang's heart at a glance and said, "It's over."

  Yu Xiang was unprepared mentally and got a fright, silently nodding his head.

  Yu Xiong patted his shoulder and said, "Cheer up, it'll be fine in two days. She's a femme fatale. When I was at the sports school, she was called Xiao Yan, but later on...?"

  Yu Xiang had a chance to compare his pain with others, just as he was about to complain, Yu Xiong said: "You read alone for now, I'll leave first."

  Lin Yuxiang's memory chased back to that summer night, Yu Hua was calling out unclearly in the tricycle, and it turned out to be this name. It really didn't occur to him that thinking of himself would make him feel even more miserable, another wave of heart-wrenching sorrow.

  Qian Rong also walked in with his head hung low and a dejected air, and when he saw Lin Yuxiang, he didn't bother to hold grudges anymore, saying: "Forget about that Russian and the one surnamed Yao!"

  Yu Xiang was shocked and thought that Qiu Bait might have gone crazy, or maybe he had finally become normal. Yu Xiang felt a little sorry for Qian Rong, but thought his own pain was deeper, with some subconscious contempt for Qian Rong's pain, saying: "It's very normal, what's the big deal." He wanted to add "Why don't you take your reporter team to interview her", but at the last minute he had a change of heart and didn't say it, fearing that it would stimulate Qian Rong to commit suicide.

  "I almost got cheated by someone with the surname Yao!" Qian Rong's face was filled with anger, and he even looked down on saying Yao Shuqin's name, cursing all people with the surname Yao in one sentence.

  "Why?"

  "Yao's surname" said, taking out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handing it to Yu Xiang. Yu Xiang smiled wryly and said: "Why did you write this for me to see?"

  Qian Rong glared at the paper with both eyes and said: "Of course it wasn't me who wrote it. I found it in her pen bag."

  Yu Xiang took the paper and looked at it, and was amazed that the talents of the Third Middle School in Shini were outstanding. The person who wrote to Yao Shuqin was a rare all-around talent in today's world. He was well-versed in ethics, such as "I firmly believe that the love that has been rekindled in this era is like the 'cup waterism' that has been extinct in the Soviet Union"; he was well-versed in Shakespearean drama, such as "Our fate is like the fate of Hamlet, the king of Denmark, under the pen of Byron", and Shakespeare was pitied, being called by his lover's name; He was well-versed in Western history, such as "In life, you are my teacher, perhaps the position is reversed, but the love of Abelard and Heloise will come"; he was well-versed in Su Dongpo's lyrics, such as "Looking at each other without words, only tears flowing like a thousand streams"; He also knew English, and wrote a tongue twister in English, "Miss, iss, Everhagessiethesetoperieds", and sighed, saying "All good things must come to an end"; He was even more powerful, combining moral philosophy, literature, aesthetics, history, English, and Japanese, like Qin Shi Huang swallowing up the six kingdoms, and spitting out a sentence: "What is the most beautiful love? To tell myself, it is the flame of Korolenko, the warmth of winter, and also the pie of bread in wartime society."

  Yu Xiang exclaimed "Wow", saying that this person's love letter was as good as a university professor's prose.

  Qian Rong crumpled up the paper and threw it away, saying: "This kid doesn't understand but pretends to, deliberately showing off."

  "That's just what others wrote to Yao Shuqin, there are many such despicable people in high school" Yu Xiang deliberately emphasized the two words "despicable", as if his arch-nemesis dozens of miles away was lashed by these two words, and his heart felt relieved.