If Nederland doesn’t win tonight, it won’t be because the fans didn’t try hard enough.
The first vuvuzelas started moaning early on Sunday morning. On the Museumplein, the square behind the Rijksmuseum, workmen were setting up TV screens bigger than most Amsterdam houses. The Oranje fans were crowding the cafes and marking out their picnic spots.
The jokes are flying around. The Spanish are splitting their sides about a new Dutch striker, Van Aperter. “Van a perter” is Spanish for “going to lose”. The Dutch have a joke about the Silver Fleet, a Spanish armada they pirated in 1628. ‘Tonight we’ll give them back their silver,’ goes the hilarious Nederlands one-liner.
The Albert Hein supermarkets are running out of ‘beesies’, the free furry worm-like toys being given away with every 15 euros’ worth of shopping. They come in red, white and blue, and also in orange. There was no warning of this impending beesie drought. I feel so lucky to have got my hands on one of the last blue ones, and I can only imagine the disappointment of beesie lovers who missed out. Expect to see these wonderful collectors’ items on ebay from Monday morning.
STOP PRESS: Ah well, the result is known. The team tried hard, lost ugly, won the battle for yellow cards, had their chances, blew them, and went down 0-1 in extra time. This being Holland, the fans will retire to the pub and plan the welcome home party for the team on Tuesday. Should be good.
Filed under Holland, Sport
G’day again, Lance.
Here I am with some more vital Tour tips for you…
Try to get to Morzine before 8.30 on Sunday night. You and Alberto Contador should arrive ahead of the others, so the peloton will be relying on you two to find a bar and reserve 188 places in front of a big screen to watch the World Cup Final (a soccer match in South Africa). Ask Alberto to explain it to you. His team Spain will be playing so he’ll know about it.
I’ve done a search on the internet and there aren’t many big screens in Morzine. And don’t expect French TV to show the game. The French public are a bit disappointed with the way their team performed, so I understand French TV channels won’t show any live football for the next four years. All currently scheduled matches will be replaced by replays of the 1998 World Cup Final, which had a more pleasing result*.
However, Morzine is a touristy town, so you could find Sunday’s match being screened in an English pub. Or a Dutch one. Lots of visitors will be interested, so get there well before the kick-off, and take plenty of spare cycling jerseys to reserve good seats down the front.
Paul the Octopus has predicted that Spain will win, which is disappointing to me because I was supporting the Dutch. The Dutch XI have offered to turn up and go through the motions anyway, since tickets and television rights have already been sold and fans expect a bit of a show.
Once the footy is out of the way, Paul the Octopus will be able to turn his attention to Le Tour and tell you what your chances of a podium finish are like. Of course, Paul can’t talk, so he makes his opinions known by eating mussels. It will be interesting to see how well he does, choosing between 188 contending mussels, but his football predictions have been spot on. If he says you’re out of it, you may want to consider an early withdrawal.
*France 3, Brazil 0
STOP PRESS: Ooh Lance, I felt your pain as you fell, and fell behind today! I hope Schleck, Evans and Contador will find you a good vantage point for watching the big game.