Section 58: Left Ear (58)

  I'm willing to believe that growing up is a good thing.

  Love sank to the bottom of the deep sea, I once thought that the love that I would stick to for a lifetime would eventually become a ridiculous wound that even I didn't want to face. Xu Yi disappeared and no longer entered my life. Although we are still in the same city, there is not a single message from him anymore.

  Maybe he has already forgotten me, and I am also trying hard to forget him, it's better this way.

  I changed my mobile phone number, and except for family members and You Ta, no one knows my new number. You Ta doesn't know about my break-up either, because he occasionally sends me short messages and still asks about Xu Yi. I almost never go online anymore, the newspaper says that blogs are starting to become popular, many celebrities have their own blogs now, but mine has been abandoned.

  I was eating a corn stick at a small shop by the water in Lijiang Ancient Town when I suddenly saw a familiar figure, wearing a duck tongue hat and carrying a large bag, also alone. I quickly buried my head under the table, my heart racing nonstop.

  He didn't see me.

  And I couldn't be certain it was him either.

  Everything is just a dream after all. And I've long been accustomed to accepting the emptiness and cruelty of dreams.

  I returned to the small inn, lying on the bed resting, when someone knocked on the door. I opened it and was surprised to find that it was him. It really was him, so I hadn't misseen after all.

  "Little ears," he said, "it's really you."

  I trembled and asked: "How did you find me?"

  "I saw you, so I followed you all the way," he said.

  I smiled and let him in. The small room, his tall stature, seemed to need to hunch over a bit more. I asked him to sit down and offered him the Coke I bought. He shook his head and asked me: "Alone?"

  I nodded.

  "Didn't you bring your boyfriend along?" he said.

  I shook my head.

  "He smiled: 'It's pretty good here, how about we go climb a snowy mountain together tomorrow?'"

  "Alright, alright." This time I finally nodded.

  The night in Lijiang was drizzling with fine rain, the shadows of people and lamps were flowing, it was so beautiful that it couldn't be described. Zhang Yang was sitting next to me, holding an umbrella for me, we looked just like a couple. Maybe it was the rain, the lights, and the songs coming from the lake shore that disturbed our hearts, both I and Zhang Yang had a bit too much to drink, the rain finally stopped, the moon came out, and Zhang Yang suddenly put his hand on my shoulder, he said softly: "Little ear, turn around and look at me."

  I turned around and let him see my slightly red face.

  "Ask you a question," Zhang Yang said, "Do you have a little bit of liking for me?"

  I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

  "Don't laugh," Zhang Yang said, "you honestly answer me."

  I pointed at my left ear and opened my mouth, indicating to him that I couldn't hear.

  He suddenly leaned in close to my right ear and said loudly, "Little Ear, don't you like me a bit?"

  My mind is a complete blank.

  I still didn't answer his question, but he didn't force me to either. As we walked back to the inn together, he bought a beautiful scarf for me and I wrapped it around my shoulders, silently following behind him. Just then, his phone rang and he stopped to answer it, while I continued walking forward, hearing him yell into the phone: "I told you not to call, calling again won't do any good!"

  ……

  I walked further and further away, and soon I couldn't hear what was being said behind me anymore.

  When I returned to the hostel, packed my things and was about to go to bed, Zhang Yang came knocking on the door. He had his backpack on, and with a heavy tone said: "Sorry, Xiao Er Duo, you'll have to play by yourself from now on. I just got a call, Dad is ill, I need to hurry back."

  I anxiously asked: "It's so late, how are we going to get there?"

  "I have a way." He patted my hair and said, "Be good, take care of yourself, don't be unhappy."

  He said and left.

  I closed the door and cried again in a rather unmanly way.

  That night, I didn't sleep all night because I was worried about Zhang Yang. The next morning, I called to ask where he was and if he had found a way back home, and how my father's body was doing, but no one answered the phone, and later it went straight to voicemail. At night, I couldn't help but call again, and a girl answered, asking who I was, and I said I was Zhang Yang's friend.

  She said: "Are you Li Er?"

  I said: "Yes."

  "I'm Jiang Jiao, Zhang Yang's girlfriend," she said. "I know you're You Ta's little cousin, we've met before."

  "Oh." I said.

  "A few days ago, he had a fight with me and ran to Lijiang, but now it's fine." Jiang Jiao said, "He is very tired and sleeping. I don't want to wake him up. You should come to Beijing to play when you have time."