Chapter Ninety-Three: Farewell Campus

  A person sits quietly on a long bench in the campus, watching one person after another passing by, and suddenly feels that they are so familiar yet so strange. Just a few minutes ago, I may have brushed past some of them, but at that time it was just a brush past, without paying attention to each person who passed by me or in front of me like now. I had to force myself to accept a reality at this moment - from now on, I no longer belong to this campus; I am no longer part of the same group as these people passing by in front of me...

  "No more early rises for classes that can't be skipped, no more tedious exams, no need to worry about creating an eye-catching resume, and no need to rack my brains over a lengthy graduation thesis..." I tried to use these reasons to make myself feel better, but the effect was just the opposite.

  I've met peers who, for various reasons, never stepped into a university campus and expressed their longing and admiration for university life. Whenever I meet these people, I try to describe and recreate a realistic university life scenario from the perspective of someone who has experienced it firsthand, and kindly advise them not to be misled by unrealistic portrayals of university life in popular books or movies.

  In my eyes, most university students, after years of being indoctrinated with China's education system, have been fed a bunch of empty and useless theories and ideas, and some don't even possess basic survival and labor skills. There's nothing to be proud of or admired about this.

  Especially in a country where education is treated as an industry, some people attend university like buying health supplements - they may look good on the surface but are actually flawed and can't resist temptation, leading them to make poor choices.

  I never thought that at this moment, when I suddenly lost my "university student" identity, I would feel a sense of nostalgia. In China, a country that emphasizes ideology, I don't know if my future will be affected by the impulsive decision I made earlier, and I dare not confirm what I can do without that diploma, which almost all young people in this abnormal society have struggled for. I also dare not imagine the scene where my father hears the news and is worried and smoking, and my mother hears the news and is crying, saying "What will we do when our neighbors and colleagues find out?" At this moment, I suddenly lost the confidence that once filled every cell of my body, and I feel a sense of darkness in front of me, feeling that my future is uncertain. I also lost confidence in my emotional life with Qin Ke Yi, and suddenly felt that as someone who can't see a bright future and may not be able to make her happy, I don't have the qualifications to love her anymore.

  Just as I was feeling anxious and worried about the future for Qin Ke Yi and me, her call came in coincidentally. Looking at the photo of her smiling face on the phone screen due to her incoming call, I hesitated for a long time before picking up.

  "Where are you? Why did it take so long for you to answer the phone!" Qin Ke's slightly reproachful voice came through the phone.

  "I'm at... school." I said weakly.

  "Is it done?"

  "Ah! It's all done..."

  "Hurry back!"

  "Uh... I'll be right back..." At this time, hearing Qin Ke's voice on the phone, my mood seemed to have improved a bit. At least no matter what happened, there was still a beautiful girlfriend waiting for me silently at home. After hanging up the phone, I slowly got up from the long chair and looked around at the scenery of the campus. Suddenly, I found that even in such a small school, I was just as insignificant. Insignificant to the point where if this campus lost one person, it would still be the same as before...

  At the moment I was about to step out of the side gate, my foot suddenly stopped in mid-air and refused to come down. A sad feeling suddenly surged up from the bottom of my heart and quickly spread throughout my body, also stimulating my tear glands and making my eyes moisten. It wasn't until then that I realized how much emotion and attachment I had for this school, for the place where I spent three years of hard work and memories, and for university life.

  "Dude, are you leaving or not?" A couple behind me reminded me impatiently, and I realized that there were many people waiting to leave behind me. So I apologized to them and silently bid farewell to my university life and the campus in my heart, then stepped out of the side gate. At this moment, I suddenly felt like a stray dog being chased out of the door, which was vastly different from the scene I had imagined: drums beating loudly, colorful flags fluttering, the principal crying and begging me to stay for a few more years to continue contributing to the school, teachers lining up to shake hands with me and reminding me to come back often, the cafeteria auntie sobbing and saying "I've been quietly paying attention to this child's growth over the past four years" while shoving hot pancakes and boiled eggs into my arms, the whole school sending me off to Xuefu Third Street and reluctant to leave, with tears in their eyes, standing still and waving goodbye to my back.

  With a heavy heart and weakly, I walked home and opened the door. After hearing the sound of chopping coming from the kitchen, I tried to accept that this was Qin Ke Yi in another round of inexplicable madness, and calmly walked into the kitchen.

  "Can you tell me what just happened here?" I curiously asked, seeing the kitchen in disarray with many newly purchased items piled up on the floor and table.

  Nothing much, I just went out to buy some things and saw that you hadn't returned yet, so I did the preparatory work for you in advance.

  "I suddenly had a question, how did you get this thing up here? A weak woman carrying something like this upstairs is too unrealistic! Even in science fiction movies, the director wouldn't be so cruel!" I asked Qin Ke in confusion.

  "You have to believe that a beautiful young girl, in addition to being capable and haggling with a taxi driver, can still make him smile and willingly help you carry things upstairs." Qin Ke smiled at me, flaunting her hair.

  "It's clear that the driver, influenced by the 'Eight Honors and Eight Shames', was trying to move you with his passionate service attitude, but you interpreted it as a simple, vulgar animal instinct. Can you live up to the driver's sincere heart? Looking at the bigger picture, this is destroying social stability and unity, tarnishing the good image of the working class, and ruining the revolutionary friendship between intellectuals and workers! If I were in charge, I would have shaved your head and paraded you through the streets by now! At this moment, I suddenly feel like distancing myself from Qin Ke, maybe that way I can temporarily escape my heavy mood."

  "Alright! Don't give you a bit of sunshine and you start dragging on indefinitely! Come over quickly! Leave the rest to you!"

  "Can I ask what's so special about today? You're making such a big fuss." Suddenly, thinking back to the ridiculous punishment the school gave me earlier, I started wondering if Qin Kaiyi had received some news first and was trying to comfort my sorrow and celebrate my early escape from this miserable university life. But considering the school's slow pace of handling things, I quickly denied this suspicion and asked Qin Kaiyi curiously.

  "There's no special reason, mainly to celebrate that I found a job today, and also want to catch up with those old friends of yours, we've been together for so long, but we haven't even treated them to dinner yet!" Qin Ke said enthusiastically to me.

  "Looking for a job!? What kind of job are you looking for?!" I asked even more perplexed.

  "A Si had a friend introduce her to a real estate company for a part-time sales job, I went with her to the interview, unexpectedly they chose me!"

  "Ha! How did you come up with this idea?"

  "Anyway, we don't have many classes this semester, and staying here is boring, so let's just pass the time! Oh dear, don't mention it, hurry up and get ready! They'll be here after six!" Qinkai said as she took off her apron and put it on me.

  "It's only a little after two, no rush, shall we chat for a bit?" I took off the apron that Qin Ke Yi had put on me and pulled her to sit down with me on the sofa. At this moment, I was no longer in the mood to fool around and cook with Qin Ke Yi in the kitchen.

  I was thinking on my way back about how to tell Qin Ke Yi this bad news. I'm not the kind of person who shares pain with friends, especially girlfriends. So I decided to drag it out and slowly seep into Qin Ke Yi through ordinary conversations, letting her gradually accept this reality under prepared conditions.

  "What's up?" Qin Ke asked me after sitting down.

  "Let's talk about the future." I thought for a moment before saying this to Qin Ke Yi.

  "The future? Haven't we talked about it before?"

  "Hmm... That time was not very specific... This time we want to have an in-depth discussion on some specific issues for the future."

  "Alright then! Let's talk!" Qin Ke said indifferently.

  "Have you ever thought that being with me might be very painful..." I thought for a moment and seriously asked Qin Ke.

  "Why are you suddenly asking this! Don't be sad! You must make me happy!" Qin Ke said with a smile, and hugged me.

  "I'm being very serious with you about this issue right now!" I slowly pushed Qin Ke Yi away, reminding her that I wasn't joking around.

  "I remember I told you, even if it's a life of eating mantou and salted vegetables with you, I'm willing." Qin Ke said to me at this time, also very seriously.

  "Have you ever seriously thought about what a hard life is like? No branded clothes, no high-end cosmetics, having to haggle with vendors over every penny, no air conditioning in the summer and possibly no heating in the winter. Even mantou (steamed buns) and salted vegetables might not be guaranteed every day. I wouldn't easily accept your father's charity either. What if we had to live such a life, what would we do?"

  "Are you going to make me spend my whole life like this?" Qin Ke suddenly looked at me with an unusually firm gaze, "I know you're strong and care about face, so in this society, you might be at a disadvantage. I also understand that the days ahead of us won't be smooth sailing, but I believe I haven't misjudged you. I know even if you'll make me go through temporary hardships, it won't be for a lifetime..."