Left ear (17)

  Article 17: Left ear (17) I suddenly remembered: "Right, I called you tonight and it was your dad who answered."

  "He said, 'I suppose so, he doesn't care about my business.'"

  "Where on earth has your mother gone?"

  Zhang Yang sat down a bit, pulled me in tighter and said to me: "Listen carefully, my mother is now Xu Ye's mother. When Xu Ye was as old as I am now, my mom disliked my dad for being poor and fell in love with Xu Ye's dad, then left me and married him."

  No wonder!

  "What about Xu Ye's mother?"

  Zhang Yang sneered and said: "Xu Yi's father is a rascal, that poor woman, I heard she took some money and went back to the countryside."

  "So......" I stammered, "your mom became Xu Yi's mom?"

  "Unbelievable, right?" Zhang Yang said, "I never thought that there would be such a mother in the world. I've been classmates with Xu Yi since elementary school, and she came to attend Xu Yi's parent-teacher conference. When she saw me, she didn't even raise an eyebrow. Xu Yi is always so hypocritically obedient, always trying to be first in everything. I really couldn't bear it, every day I was thinking of ways to make him fall again. I admit that I'm very despicable..."

  I feel Zhang Yang's tears, on a cold winter night, flowing warmly onto the back of my hand.

  "Don't say anything more." I strained to lift my face, trying to get closer to his. He held me tightly, his head pressed against my chest, making stifled sobbing sounds.

  My heart is torn apart and lungs hurt.

  This lonely child, I swear never to let him shed another tear again.

  Never ever.

  Never again.

  9

  I returned home at three o'clock in the morning.

  I thought I would have a fierce battle with the old lady, such as she locking the door, such as me knocking and not being able to open it, such as her closing the window of my room, and I couldn't jump in from the window. So I could shout loudly or use the trash can by the door to bang on it. Because my mood was really good, I had no trouble sleeping, but just wanted to stir up some trouble.

  Unfortunately, the reality was not like that, I easily opened the door with the key.

  I sneaked into my own room and lay down on the bed with my clothes still on, I didn't go to take a bath, I couldn't bear to wash off the scent of the person I love from my body, the scent of the suburban night, the scent of the Red Double Happiness cigarettes we smoked together, as well as... the scent of love.

  I slept for half a day but couldn't fall asleep, so I sat up and wrote down a line with a ballpoint pen on a white paper: I must make him happy.

  I held the ballpoint pen in my mouth like a cigarette and looked at the words I had written with satisfaction, even though they were not beautiful.

  This is a promise I made to myself, and I will fight for it with all my might. So at 3 am, I sent Xu Yi a three-word text message: Forget me.

  After sending it out, I threw my phone aside and fell asleep.

  At 6 o'clock in the morning, I woke up strangely and habitually checked my phone. There was a message from Xu Yi, saying: I love you for life, bye.

  A lifetime?

  Let him think I'm dead then.

  The news of my breakup with Xu Yi spread quickly and soon everyone in town knew about it.

  One day, Xu Yi came to the "Forget It" bar, ordered ten bottles of beer by himself, and sat there drinking slowly. He didn't say he was looking for me, but everyone knew that's what he was doing - trying to force me out.

  It's been a long time, after sending that message, I haven't responded to him. I wish he would understand earlier that it was just a conspiracy, and the sooner he gets out of this misery, the less guilty I will feel in my heart.

  I'm actually always a kind and good girl.

  But he couldn't understand my good intentions. That night, it's said that he got drunk and his mom and dad came to the bar to drag him away. He refused, smashed all the beer bottles, loudly shouting my name, grasping the door of the bar for a long time, unwilling to let go.

  That night, I spent the whole night with Zhang Yang, and I knew nothing about what happened in the bar. I turned off my phone, locked the door, turned off the lights, and in the darkness, our exploration of each other made me erupt like a volcano, then extinguished, from hope to despair, from despair to rebirth, cycling, tirelessly.

  After he left, I sat alone in the darkness, the moonlight shining coldly on my dark red floral nightgown. Suddenly, an idea struck me - I decided to have a child for Zhang Yang.

  This idea emerged from my heart and I couldn't suppress it anymore. I spent a lot of time considering the costs I would pay for this, such as dropping out, being despised by everyone, becoming the villain of some tabloid or TV show... But actually, these considerations were all in vain, because deep down, I knew that I was a crazy and stubborn person, and for this idea, I would say it again, I could do anything.

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